Well I had lately been reading a lot of my friends’ post which were somehow related to their marriage with most of them contributing their woes and happiness respectively. I was happily reading all their posts and comments and joining in the fun with so many others because i never thought for even a milli-shilli second that the word marriage was going to take one giant leap into my life. Its not that i am against it (I'd love to get married one day so interested females pls wait till then) ; its just that at 23 years of age it doesn't seem right ( taking away an innocent boy's innocence)
Now I have no idea how my mom got to read some of these blogs ( she hardly knows how to operate a computer yet somehow she did, there's no other explanation for her bringing up this topic all of a sudden) but nonetheless, the fact of the matter is that 2 days ago i was subject to intense questioning and embarrassing comments by my dear Mommy( although by the end i think she was embarrassed for bringing this topic up :-). For more details, read on!). So here's a not so typical conversation that took place 2 days ago...

Phone ringing in the background...Tring Tring!! Tring Tring ( Sorry i forgot that she called on my mob..ok so playing Hoobastank-The Reason now :-))

Me - Hi Mumma..(and regular stuff that i say every time)...kya chal raha hai and all that

Mom- (Same old) howz work going, are you taking care of your health...Blah Blah (Author holds phone 2 feet away from his ear for the next 5 mins:-)).

Me - Mumbles something inaudible...

Mom - Aman beta, I want to talk to you about something important. Don't take this as a joke please

Me - What happened Mumma? (I thought it was a family emergency or something like that)

Mom - Yesterday we went to XYZ Mama's cousin sister's daughter's marriage. There we got a marriage proposal for you!!

(Author shocked beyond his wits, speechless for 10 secs!!)

Me - Nice joke mom, call me when you fix the date and do all the arrangements..

Mom - Chup karo Aman,kabhi toh serious hua karo. Really Chintu Mausi's ( My Mausi or hers I have no idea:)) family friend ( who is also somehow related to us, don’t ask me how ) ki taraf se tumhare liye ek rishta aaya hai. She's doing her final year now.

Me - How can Chintu Mausi's family friend be doing her final year mumma. She must be so old by now!!

Mom (fired up by now) - Aman,maine bola na yeh mazaak nahi hai. That girl is in her final year now, good family also beta.( I really don't know why parents have to add this line! Obviously if you look for that someone for us, you'll make sure that the family is good..You'll definitely not get me married to Osama's daughter will you!?)

Me - Mumma pls, I am just 23 rite now. How can i even think of marriage? I have to think of my career first:-)

Mom - Arey who's asking you to get married rite now! We only want you both to get acquainted with each other rite now so that after 2-3 yrs we can formally fix something.

Me - (Mind working in devilish ways:-)) Did she come for the shaadi? Is she good looking? (Read maal:-))

Mom - Ya she's very beautiful. Both your papa and I also liked her (At this point i felt like telling her that dear ol' dad agrees with you on everything. After 31 years the poor soul knows that he should never say No to anything:-). But intelligent me knows what’ll happen if i say that so I keep my mouth shut).

Me - So basically you want us to go around for the next 2-3 years? (And I add softly) What’ll happen if things don't work out between us after, say, one year? Can we go our separate ways then?

Mom - Arey, why will that happen? You meet her first, she's a very good girl ( I felt like saying that you've never told me that in the past so many years and here's one girl whom u've met only once and you're going gaga over her!)

At this point of time, I felt I was fighting a losing battle. So I decided that I needed a hmmm bolder approach to get me out of this situation

Me - Look mumma, i am not against marriage or anything but its just too early for me rite now. Waise bhi I have other plans on how and when I want to get married

Mom (now suddenly afraid) - Beta tumhari koi girlfriend-whirlfriend toh nahi hai na? Please Aman ,aisa kuch mat karna jis sey hum muh dikhane layak bhi na rahe (Ya my mom's an emotional drama queen!)

Me - Mumma please yaar!! Koi girlfriend nahi hai!! But i don't want to think bout all that now. What i want is that you choose one girl for me, then I’ll be with her for a year, then I’ll say I am not compatible with her. Ditto for the second one. Then finally I’ll get married to the third girl. Is that ok with you?

Suddenly the call gets cut; whether due to a network problem or whether my mom couldn't believe what she heard; I’ll never know...Anyways Dad called back after 5 mins and here's what happened then .

Dad - Aman, what did you say to her? Your mom's very upset rite now!!

Me - C'mon Papa, I should be the one to get upset! How can you people even think about my marriage rite now?

Dad - (Now clarifying) I told her its not such a good idea to talk all this......( He broke off at this time presumably because of the warning look my mom must have given him...lol...thanks a ton dad...i know how much you risked to say that:-)).

Me - Look Papa, you also know that this is not the rite time for all this..Pls talk to mom and explain her all this..Pls dad, you are the only one who can do this..(My dad must have cursed me for feeding him to the lions:-)).

Anyways that’s where that episode ended and hopefully it’s the end of that topic also (at least for some time). I spoke to my mom last nite and she spoke normally and said to forget bout what all she had said (how can i!!). So all you people out there who thought ' iski to waat lag gayi mamu', sorry to disappoint you fellas! All's well that ends well :-).

P.S -: Despite whatever you said (and I know you are reading this somehow) you are still the best and I love you the most Mom. If only you had given me that girl's phone number (Sigh!!)