Recently a friend of mine had something really nice to say about me and told me in plain simple words that I was the "biggest unemotional and cold-hearted person" he'd ever met. Now this wasn't the 1st time something like this was being said to me(Ya apparently she too had told me this once too often). Anyways this incident led me to think a lot more about myself and hence this post is sort of a retrospection and introspection into the heartless realms of my inner self.




Now even though my star sign is Pisces, believe me I am hardly a Piscean in the true sense of the word. Ya I am a dreamer like all Pisceans are but then the similarity stops right there. Pisceans are supposed to be real emotional people who listen to the hearts of others around them. Not me though! And maybe that's why me Mom even commented once that I might have been exchanged at the hospital!!

Now I really dunno whats the big deal about not being emotional and showing out your inner feelings to other people. Ya I admit that I do feel emotional at times but then I like to keep it within myself rather than parade my feelings to the entire world. In that sense I am not being heartless or anything; just that I deal with emotional stuff better when its kept to myself.

Maybe I am writing this post for a particular person or maybe its for me itself. Whatever be the case, the fact is that I am a sucker when it comes to being emotional. I really don't feel like crying even when its the worst situation in the world. So that might explain why I am such a heartless SOB.

I know many of you might be wondering whether I was drunk while writing this post. Actually some parts of it were written under the influence of alcohol but even then its all true. So basically you know the reason for me writing this crappy piece of a post :-)

Anyways, I definitely do promise my readers a funnier post next time around but that'll be a while I guess cause I am stuck up with stupid exams here. Gosh, maybe it's these exams that bring out all the meanness in me. Hmmm. Something to ponder on.

Well after pondering for a few days(and months), I finally decided to sweep the dust off from my blog and write another not-so-meaningful post. You can attribute this disappearance of mine from the blogosphere as to being very busy but I'd appreciate it a lot more if you classify it as pure(and awesome) laziness. Anyways enough said and done. Time to move on to the latest happenings in my oh-so-wonderland life.

Somebody once told me that if you don't wanna do any work and yet earn money and respect, then go do an MBA. And spending 4 and a half months in IMT seems to have reinforced that sensible man's views. This incredible journey to understand the various aspects of 'business management' commenced on the 22nd of June, 2008 and I can assure you that by now I've learnt quite a few of those 'aspects'. From those lectures on branding and ads by IMT's very own 'marketing ki maa' to the monotonous and never ending speeches on strategic management - its been a hell of a ride till now.

Don't get me wrong. Its not that the system is flawed or anything. More likely its the people involved in the system that are full of flaws. Didn't get the meaning of that one, right? Well, that's exactly what MBA teaches you to do :)

Well, Term 1 got over ages ago and I am already half-way through my 2nd Term. And there's absolutely no doubt that when the results of that 1st term come out, I'll be one notch below what Chetan Bhagat's characters were. A 4-point someone! And now we also have do deal with the case studies. The case study methodology has just started and I am already sick of it. What is it with these teachers and their incessant demands for presentations? All that it serves is to reinforce the golden rule of MBA - Think Global and Speak it Too!!!

Thats it from me for now atleast. Hopefully I'll be more regular from now on and incase I repeat the same thing three months from now; well u'll know that I was busy with my 'studies'.

Dragons, elves, orcs, dwarves and humans...Well, that's the image one normally conjures up whenever one pictures a fantasy novel. That is far from the truth, however. Fantasy books don't just have these elements; they take you on a journey you're not likely to forget-transporting you into a world so different from yours and yet, within yours. My association with this dream-world started long before Tolkien and Harry Potter burst into prominence. In fact it was in class 10, when my school librarian Mr. Strange (yup, that is his name) handed me a copy of the prequel to Tolkien's literary masterpiece The Lord of the Rings-The Hobbit. Yes, the language was difficult to grasp initially but slowly I was hooked onto it. While other kids my age were harboring dreams of becoming the next Sachin or the next Einstein, I was busy fighting battles, traveling across war-ravaged lands on dragons and having meals with hobbits and elves.
I then moved on to the Lord of the Rings and before long all that I thought about was about the Dark Lord who resided in Mordor and how to bring about his destruction. If only I could have that Ring of Power.


Seven rings for the elven kings under the sky,

Nine for the dwarf lords in their halls of stone,

Eleven rings for mortal men doomed to die

In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie.

One ring to rule them all, one ring to bring them all

And in the darkness bind them

In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie.


Soon I was devouring books by Terry Brooks and drinking and sleeping Terry Pratchett. And then along came Christopher Paolini in the summer of 2004 with his debut novel- Eragon (many of you might have seen the movie which unfortunately made mincemeat of the book).Here was a young boy of just 18 who had written what can only be called a creation of genius. And this set me thinking. Could I, too, try my hand at this stuff?? Well, no harm in trying and hence, I sat down with paper and pen to try and pen my 1st novel (or rather an attempt at writing something worthwhile). For days, no idea of a plot struck me and I became increasingly frustrated and then suddenly, out of the blue, a plot came into my mind. I began working feverishly on it. Days blended into night and I kept penning my thoughts onto paper (to this day, my parents think I was studying for my 3rd yr exams!!).
Well 3 months later and I was ready with my manuscript. To this day, that's my greatest achievement. I don't think anyone of you can understand the elation I felt when I wrote that final page and declared my book complete. So I got in touch with a friend whose dad was into this publishing business and he agreed to read my novel and decide whether it was ok or rubbish (those were his exact words). Another 3 weeks wait and he finally decided that it was worse than rubbish!!! However that didn't deter me one bit and I continued to try and improve the storyline. But me being the lazy ass that I am, that unedited book is now lying in one dark corner of my home where only spiders and lizards can lay their hands on. However, I am writing a little extract from that book for you people to decide whether I should continue or totally give up that hobby. So you be the judge and decide -:

The fast fading sunlight silhouetted the three riders standing on the tallest cliff of the Silligan Mountains. Below them lay the vast expanse of the Alluvian Forests and among them, the smouldering ruins of the once mighty Elven city of Ellengard.

The three riders stood with their heads bowed in respect. For a few minutes, none of them spoke until the voice of Armion broke the silence.

"We must not linger here any longer. Our home is no longer a safe haven for us."

"Armion is right. Come Ellena, we need to warn the dwarves as soon as possible. They might still be unaware of the king's treachery," said Dugran in his comforting voice.

"Fullmara will pay for this," hissed Ellena, the anger in her voice unmistakable. "The spirits of the people of Ellengard will not rest until Fullmara's blood stains my arrows."

"May your words be prophetic Ellena," said Armion."But for now, we ride east towards the peaks of Dram."

With these parting words, the three friends climbed onto their horses and rode into the sunset, leaving behind them the trail of betrayel and destruction.

Many a times you come across people in your day to day life whom you wished had never crossed your path and reminiscing about it later you’re glad you happened to be in the right place at the right time; atleast it ensures you had a good laugh!

Two days ago i found myself lurking amongst the books at Landmark when my search for an elusive masterpiece was broken by the arrival of two girls who seemed fresh out of college. Before I even had the chance to glance at them, one of them literally grabbed a book of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde( ya the one by R.L.Stevenson which we we read in school) and exclaimed loudly to her friend , " Look what I found. Dr. Jai Killey and Ms. Hi Deeee ". ( I swear to god that she pronounced it that way). I nearly dropped the book I was holding!!

To top it off her friend replied back in the worst accent anyone can ever muster up and said “ Oh puhleeez, I neva read sucha waste noovels. “ It sure certified the fact that illiteracy level in our country is still quite high!! And on and on the 2 girls went on about how some girl in their college was so cheap and fake. I still congratulate myself for resisting the temptation to strangle one of them..

Anyways Dr. Jai Killey and her Hi Deeee friend soon moved on to another section and I thanked God for this kind favour. But lady Luck doesn’t seem to like me very much it seems cause I soon found them in the section opposite to mine. Dr. Jai Killey was holding a copy of Dan Brown’s ‘ Da Vinci Code ‘ and explaining the story to her friend Ms. Hi Dee. Sample this conversation between them.

Dr. J – Eeeeyyaa lok wat I find!! I saw movie of this guy ( Wen did Dan Brown star in a movie??)

Ms. H – Ooooooo my bro has this. I haven’t read but ( Why am I not surprised!! )

Dr. J – Gosh gud only. It was booooriin. Nicole Cage was the hero ( Nicole who?? Now I dunno if she meant Nicholas Cage or Nicole Kidman; whatever the case Tom Hanks sure didn’t see this coming! :-) )

Dr. J (continues) – It was all bout killing one Pope guy and finding a lost painting ( Aww c’mon guys, give her some credit. She at least figured out that there was a painting in the movie! :-) )

Ms. H – I tell you, how can ppl watch violent related movies. It makes me disgusted (You have absolutely no idea how disgusted you made me feel girl)

Dr. J – Sahi mey, that’s why I watch couples movies ( Huh, now what the hell are couple movies??)

Apparently her friend understood what ‘couple movies’ were. I was obviously thinking in a different direction all together!!

Ms. H – Like Titanic na! Oooh, I simply loooved that one ( me almost crying now)

I moved away realizing that my sanity was in serious danger now. But the best was yet to come and this time the joke was on them. They soon moved onto a section which had certain books titled "Letters to a 'certain' house". Apparently they had no idea or they were simply not so learned as me because one of them picked up one of the books and said to her friend, “Hey, I found some new books”. And when they realized what they had picked up, they did an about turn on the spot and walked as fast as they could out of the store :-). Ah, well the fun had to stop sometime!

I finally picked up P.G. Woodhouse’s ‘Imperial Blandings’ (which unfortunately I’ve not even started to read till now) and went my way feeling that the day had not been such a waste after all.

Well I had lately been reading a lot of my friends’ post which were somehow related to their marriage with most of them contributing their woes and happiness respectively. I was happily reading all their posts and comments and joining in the fun with so many others because i never thought for even a milli-shilli second that the word marriage was going to take one giant leap into my life. Its not that i am against it (I'd love to get married one day so interested females pls wait till then) ; its just that at 23 years of age it doesn't seem right ( taking away an innocent boy's innocence)
Now I have no idea how my mom got to read some of these blogs ( she hardly knows how to operate a computer yet somehow she did, there's no other explanation for her bringing up this topic all of a sudden) but nonetheless, the fact of the matter is that 2 days ago i was subject to intense questioning and embarrassing comments by my dear Mommy( although by the end i think she was embarrassed for bringing this topic up :-). For more details, read on!). So here's a not so typical conversation that took place 2 days ago...

Phone ringing in the background...Tring Tring!! Tring Tring ( Sorry i forgot that she called on my mob..ok so playing Hoobastank-The Reason now :-))

Me - Hi Mumma..(and regular stuff that i say every time)...kya chal raha hai and all that

Mom- (Same old) howz work going, are you taking care of your health...Blah Blah (Author holds phone 2 feet away from his ear for the next 5 mins:-)).

Me - Mumbles something inaudible...

Mom - Aman beta, I want to talk to you about something important. Don't take this as a joke please

Me - What happened Mumma? (I thought it was a family emergency or something like that)

Mom - Yesterday we went to XYZ Mama's cousin sister's daughter's marriage. There we got a marriage proposal for you!!

(Author shocked beyond his wits, speechless for 10 secs!!)

Me - Nice joke mom, call me when you fix the date and do all the arrangements..

Mom - Chup karo Aman,kabhi toh serious hua karo. Really Chintu Mausi's ( My Mausi or hers I have no idea:)) family friend ( who is also somehow related to us, don’t ask me how ) ki taraf se tumhare liye ek rishta aaya hai. She's doing her final year now.

Me - How can Chintu Mausi's family friend be doing her final year mumma. She must be so old by now!!

Mom (fired up by now) - Aman,maine bola na yeh mazaak nahi hai. That girl is in her final year now, good family also beta.( I really don't know why parents have to add this line! Obviously if you look for that someone for us, you'll make sure that the family is good..You'll definitely not get me married to Osama's daughter will you!?)

Me - Mumma pls, I am just 23 rite now. How can i even think of marriage? I have to think of my career first:-)

Mom - Arey who's asking you to get married rite now! We only want you both to get acquainted with each other rite now so that after 2-3 yrs we can formally fix something.

Me - (Mind working in devilish ways:-)) Did she come for the shaadi? Is she good looking? (Read maal:-))

Mom - Ya she's very beautiful. Both your papa and I also liked her (At this point i felt like telling her that dear ol' dad agrees with you on everything. After 31 years the poor soul knows that he should never say No to anything:-). But intelligent me knows what’ll happen if i say that so I keep my mouth shut).

Me - So basically you want us to go around for the next 2-3 years? (And I add softly) What’ll happen if things don't work out between us after, say, one year? Can we go our separate ways then?

Mom - Arey, why will that happen? You meet her first, she's a very good girl ( I felt like saying that you've never told me that in the past so many years and here's one girl whom u've met only once and you're going gaga over her!)

At this point of time, I felt I was fighting a losing battle. So I decided that I needed a hmmm bolder approach to get me out of this situation

Me - Look mumma, i am not against marriage or anything but its just too early for me rite now. Waise bhi I have other plans on how and when I want to get married

Mom (now suddenly afraid) - Beta tumhari koi girlfriend-whirlfriend toh nahi hai na? Please Aman ,aisa kuch mat karna jis sey hum muh dikhane layak bhi na rahe (Ya my mom's an emotional drama queen!)

Me - Mumma please yaar!! Koi girlfriend nahi hai!! But i don't want to think bout all that now. What i want is that you choose one girl for me, then I’ll be with her for a year, then I’ll say I am not compatible with her. Ditto for the second one. Then finally I’ll get married to the third girl. Is that ok with you?

Suddenly the call gets cut; whether due to a network problem or whether my mom couldn't believe what she heard; I’ll never know...Anyways Dad called back after 5 mins and here's what happened then .

Dad - Aman, what did you say to her? Your mom's very upset rite now!!

Me - C'mon Papa, I should be the one to get upset! How can you people even think about my marriage rite now?

Dad - (Now clarifying) I told her its not such a good idea to talk all this......( He broke off at this time presumably because of the warning look my mom must have given him...lol...thanks a ton dad...i know how much you risked to say that:-)).

Me - Look Papa, you also know that this is not the rite time for all this..Pls talk to mom and explain her all this..Pls dad, you are the only one who can do this..(My dad must have cursed me for feeding him to the lions:-)).

Anyways that’s where that episode ended and hopefully it’s the end of that topic also (at least for some time). I spoke to my mom last nite and she spoke normally and said to forget bout what all she had said (how can i!!). So all you people out there who thought ' iski to waat lag gayi mamu', sorry to disappoint you fellas! All's well that ends well :-).

P.S -: Despite whatever you said (and I know you are reading this somehow) you are still the best and I love you the most Mom. If only you had given me that girl's phone number (Sigh!!)

Sorry to disappoint all those people who think this is gonna be a tribute to THE most insane, rubbish, cow-dungish TV serial ever imagined ( or wait, i think Ekta came out with another K last week which seems hell bent on breaking all rules of moronism). This is actually a story of what happens at my home and i think at most of our homes too. So i'll recount a typical day in the ' Kohli khaandaan '. Be prepared for a shock or sense of deja-vu according to your case.

Morning 7.30 :

Sound of bhajans and godly songs fill all the rooms including my own. Sleepy-eyed and slightly irritable at that time, i pray to every god that my Mom believes in, and try to cover my ears with the pillow and sheet ( oh sorry, no sheet cause its already been kicked to the floor by me at nite). However my devilish sleep has gone and its time to welcome the daily quota of devotional songs into my life.

Door bangs open. Mom's already in a foul mood. Why oh why God,did you make my mother this way!!

Mom - Abhi tak so raha hai. Tuzhe sharam nahi aati!!

Me - Sharam kis baat ki Mumma..sharam toh tab aati jab aap muzhe kisi ladki ke saath sote hue pakadti

Before i can say April Fool ,my cheeks have already borne the brunt of those tender motherly hands!! Anyways i am asked to go and rouse up my sister from her ' khumbkaran' sleep.

Me - Rashi, get up ya. I am getting shouted at cause of you..

My Sis - @#$@#$% How many times have i asked you not to disturb me while sleeping?

Me - Sorry forgot to count. Anyways get up fast. She's shouting at me cause you are not there to be shouted at

Sis - @#$%!@#@#

After brushing etc etc. i walk into my parents room and eagerly scan the pages of Delhi Times. Another lecture this time from Dad

Dad - Why don't you read the proper newspaper? What's so interesting in that Delhi Times!!

Me - Arey Papa,they've started giving practice questions on CAT these days, so going through those ( I can really be shameless at times!!)

Sis rushes in and tells me to get her breakfast from the kitchen. All she gets in return are a few words for which i again pay for saying them infront of Dad. Rest of the morning passes somewhat quietly except when i go and sit infront of my comp.

Afternoon 1 'o Clock :

Mom - Aman, u've been sitting there for nearly 2 hrs now. Your eyes will get spoilt beta

Me - Not 2 hrs Mumma, one and a half only!!

Mom - But before that you watched Tv for one hour, then you were on the phone for sometime. Go out and get some exercise!!

Me - Mumma pls, its 1 in the afternoon, its burning outside and you want me to go do exercise. I came here for a holiday; not to some millitary camp.

She mutters something which sounds like hopeless-case-god-help-him. Hmmm i wonder what gave her that idea!!

Cut to Evening 5' o Clock:

Me - Mumma i am going out for sometime . Mite be a little late for dinner.

Mom - Theek hai, par bahar ka mat khaana. You mite get stereolepsosis!!( Don't even ask me what that mite be,i can hardle even spell it)

Mom - Btw, where do you go out every evening? Kisi girlfriend ka toh chakkar nahi hai na!!

Me - Mumma, tell me what'll you prefer? Me going out with a girl or a guy??

Mom - Chup kar !! Aaj kal bahot bolne lag gaya hai tu !! Bina soche samjhe kuch bhi bol deta hai...jaise jaise bade hote ho,koi sharam haya bachti hi nahi hai tum logo mey.

I roll my eyes and make my getaway as fast as possible before another lecture on pre-marital relationships and god-knows-what all comes up.

Night Time 10.00 :

I return home only to find them fuming and waiting for me.

Mom - Why can't you call and tell us that you'll be coming late??

Me - It's only 10 rite now!!

Mom - Thats besides the point. You've been out since 5. You can atleast call us once in between or give a missed call. You keep calling all those friends of yours the whole day, you can't even spend 2 rs on calling your parents!

Me - Arey why are you blowing this out of proportion. Fine i didn't call but its not like i ran away to Timbuktu or something.

The arrival of my sister from office thankfully breaks up this unwarrented discussion.

And now for the worst part!!

The Daily Soaps:

Both me and my sister have to endure nearly an hour and half of crying, backstabbing women who go to sleep in their sarees and then get up in the morning with their make-up still not smudged. I mean how the hell is that possible!! By then end i am confused as to who's having an affair with whom and who's the actual vamp. Dunno how my mom can keep pace with all the serials at one go while constantly switching between Zee, Star and Sony every 2 mins. And if by any chance i put ESPN when she's in the kitchen, then God help me !!

The worst is this serial called Kasam Se on Zee ( or is it Sony?). Its basically about 3 sisters out of which one has designs on her brother-in-law and has suppossedly had a child with him. Her own husband disappeared in between btw and was never heard of( i personally think he was not being paid so he left). But my Mom insists that his "character did not suit the current timing and mood of the serial". The 3rd sister has married someone who already has a wife and i dunno who sleeps with whom at nite. Seriously Ekta Kapoor should be given credit for imagining such kind of insane plots!

Time for bed now and by this time everything that happened earlier has been forgotten. The whole family has dinner together and then we say good nite; ready to start afresh the next day :lol: . Now i miss those days and the fights i used to have at home. And its not like there were always fights happening. Mom and Dad kept fussing over us also and in the end we were one big happy family(still are). Ekta Kapoor should come to my house and see what an actual Ghar Ghar ki Kahaani is. What say!?